- mostly shopping, otherwise I didn't have time to do it properly.
- Also some rumors, idk read the last session nerds!
We drive off, the wandering emporium in our rear view mirror, we head into the Avernian wastes. Skraps is suddenly back, we notice he was missing until just now. Aurelia immediately accosts him and makes Tzon stop the car for some reason. Cassandra and Balsam turn out their pockets. Cassandra is fully broke, Balsam is mostly. Aurelia slides over a bill for 300 g. Skraps claims he spent it all. Balsam and Cassandra insights and fully believe him. He says he visited his old pal Eliac from the circus, he was the stage manager. Tzon says oh i wish I saw him and gives Skraps 60 g because he feels bad Skraps has no money. Eliac was at the ichor shop. He got picked up by mahadi and had to turn to some fucked up stuff. Tzon asks Skraps to let him know if he sees anyone else from the circus.
Lily insinuates Eliac did an insurance fraud to end up in the Hells. Tzon and Skraps deny that for sure though. Tzon maybe didn't see what happened to the circus. Skraps says he saw Big Bertha torn to shreds. Skraps says that the Rak-sasha did it. The tiger guys with backwards hands. Tzon doesn't seem to have a clue about it. Skraps says he doesn't know why at all it happened though and ran immediately. Lily wonders if Raksasha make deals with people and while they aren't technically devils, they are still deal-makers. They are dignified, but duplicitous. Deeply magical, social pupeteers. Malicious and wicked at times. Maybe suspicious that so many of the survivors of circus have ended up in the hells.
We remember that we decided to go after the Dragonborn in a tower who carries a vial of Tiamat's blood around his neck who is attempting to free Tiamat from her imprisonment in Avernus. Tzon drives us that direction. It becomes a little mind-numbing. Bernie the barber didn't give us a distance but after a few hours we see another of the large herds of those big chunky boys waddling around, we avoid them easily. We later see another flock of those big old mosquitos, We see a band of Yugoloths. The sun never rides nor sets and it just is really monotanous. Tzon feels like its been about 15 hours but he's cool about it.
We play some Fuck, Marry, Kill. Mordenkainen, Gideon Lightward, and Mad Maggie.
Balsam: Fuck Gideon, Marry Maggie, Kill Morden
Lily: Kill Maggie, Fuck Gideon, Marry Mordenkainen
Aurelia: Abstain from sex, but would share a glass of wine with Morden, Kill Maggie, Marry Gideon but it does seem like more of a like marriage of circumstance
Skraps: Fuck all 3 in a foursome type of way. Lily asks whose panties he would steal, gideons.
Cass: Marry Maggie, Kill Gideon, Fuck Mordenkainen
Tzon: Bill mordenkainen (he misheard and morden has the most money), Kill Maggie, Marry Gideon.
Tzon is having a good time driving, the rest of us have some sandwiches and wine. Cassandra gives Balsam the sandwich making stuff after being bitter about everyone being weird about it. Also Aurelia encourages Cassandra to prepare create food and water even though Apparently we said no before? I don't remember that. Balsam makes sandwiches. It's jerky on bread. It so ash and sulfur.
We continue talking and bickering and such. Some of us take naps, but it's not necesarily restful but it is technically a shortrest. Aurelia plays a wailing violin sound that matches the vibe of all of it. Inspiration to Tzon, and Cassandra. Tzon has to make a con save. Saves. He is fighting off the exhaustion of the boring drive. The rest of us begin to awaken and such. It's so cramped.
Balsam gets so sick of being in there and so they climb out and they leap out onto Bean to ride for a while. Its so nice to have the wind in their hair and it also frees up some space. Ahead of us a dark speck seems to erupt out of the horizon. It's hard to tell if its flying or jumping. It comes in and out of view. Its moving up and down a large semi-circle rock. It seems to be leaping. It stops on the top of the rock. It seems to be a two wheeled vehicle. We barely make out a humanoid figure waving their hands. Tzon steers the warmachine towars it and Balsam follows.
The figure hops back on his machine and drives our way, sliding and throwing dirt on us as it stops. Jumps gracefully out of his seat. We see a grinning aladrin. He introduces himself as Smiler! We mention Maggie and he asks what she said. We tell him that she said he was agreeable and fun and he says he has been looking for a strapping adventuring party. A fun interaction about "pleasure is all mine" and such. He says not too long ago he lead a merry band, but his hobgoblin friends betrayed him. Said Bitterbreath used Smiler's own coin to turn them against him. Lily gives some goss about him being demoted. Smiler was barely able to escape and now we are here. He asks us to reclaim his wealth from Bitterbreath and he will split the soul coins evenly of course.
He says he is Tymora's most favored the goddess of luck. Aurelia seems a bit like she doesn't get it and she isn't religious and such. Skraps teases her and says she could use the luck. We all try to sell her on our gods. Balsam is a bit sexual about it and then Aurelia says she is interested in trying it all at some point. Balsam teases her about it bc they were being horny. Aurelia turns back to Smiler and says she will try to find her passion now that she has found her sexuality. Smiler is gonna try to sell us on Tymora.
Smiler looks right to Aurelia and asks her to tell him how she feels about good fortune. Aurelia feels like to some degree you are responsible for your own luck. Smiler is like so you like it yes? How do you feel about Skill. Aurelia asks him to name a skill. He says Mushroom picking. She says gold medalist. And is very convincing about it. He is like you wouldn't gain it if you didn't feel positive about them yes? A little chaotic responses. He is like so you feel good about them yes. How do you feel about victory? She likes to win. He asks Are you an adventurer? Yes I guess. Those are the 4 portfolios of our lady of luck! She sounds right up your alley. Aurelia asks how she signs up? He says you just pray and believe and appreciate and you are already halfway there. Lily asks if you have to give offerings. He says something about a copper gives you more or whatever I couldn't trap.
Aurelia takes out a copper piece and holds it to the sky and starts like talking into the air really awkwardly. She offers said piece in exchange for fortune???? She looks to Smiler for confirmation. He nods. She then awkwardly professes her love to her and then tosses the coin into the air. It rolls on the ground. Smiler is like Hey Free copper! Lady Tymora has struck again!!!! It'll come back to you too! Maybe in the form of Soul Coins if we succeed today! We think that works and we agree!
He says its simple we just have to make a diversion as he sneaks in to secure the coins. Cassandra suggests a kissing booth. Honestly not a bad plan tho. Aurelia is like how can we trust you tho? He is like do you have a better plan? Cassandra says maybe a soul coin per kiss. We discuss this very fully. Smiler interrupts and says hey this probably wont work.
We get back to the task and Lily asks how he is going to get the soul coins. He says he is just simply going to go into his tent. If we are a good enough distraction itd be chill. The camp has 4 walls with a door and then we could ram the door open with our war machine. They have more machines too which sounds sick. It sounds like thats the plan.
It's about half a day away. Its so far but Aurelia says she will ride with Smiler after he offers it. Balsam will ride on Bean again. During the ride He talks Aurelia's ear off about Tymora. One of the things he mentions is that before she was tymora she was Tyche and then she got split into both the goddess of good luck and the goddess of bad luck after she died and when she was reborn she kinda got split because god shit.
After a few hours of travel he shouts that we are about a mile away and he points to a black speck. A Troll! That bastard High Graj Karkajuk. If we hurry we can take him by surprise! He was one of my men! GET HIM!
Cassandra asks if Lily still has her ring. Lily says yes? Its a whole thing regarding the warding bond spell and such. But also some deep lore shit. Cassandra tells Lily she needs to put it on. Cassandra casts warding bond onto Lily.
Smiler slams on his brakes and drifts into a difficult terrain rocky ground. Balsam also drifts bean into there all rdr2 style. Smiler says we can come up with whatever plan we want but if we want he could turn the terrain into what looks like not rocky and it'll fuck them up while he is the distraction. We all go and hide behind a bunch of buttes and walls and such.
Smiler casts a spell and molds the rocky ground into smooth terrain. We hide our war machine by a different wall that none of us are behind. Smiler starts waving and yelling "Hey Fuck you guys!!!!!" A devils ride and a Scavenger change their direction and barrel straight towards him and then hit the patch of rocky! Their vehicles immediately take big damage and they slam on their brakes and step out. We see 8 infernal hobgoblins pour out. One steps to the fround and confronts Smiler. Smiler messes with him "Guys now!"
Bean aggressively whinnies and we rush out!
INIATIVE!!!!
Hob goblin minions: Ernest, Boltcutter, Dinglefeet, Gwar, Crusty Crusader, Lorax, and Arse Goblin
Leader: Captain Hammer
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